Johnny Ikon does Jodie Marsh - and she loves it!

Arriving to interview Jodie Marsh is fraught with emotion and preconception: you expect to dislike her, you think you know so much about her and not much of it is good. Johnny Ikon is ridiculously opinionated at the best of times, and Jodie inspires pretty fierce views in everyone. So, did she manage to surprise me and turn out lovely? Well, yes, actually....

Johnny Ikon: Hi Jodie! It's so lovely to finally meet you properly after seeing you at so many parties. Let's get straight down to business: the "I Want Your Sperm" pictures. What's it all about? Please tell me there's not a reality show in the offing?!

Jodie Marsh: (laughing) You know what, that was so funny, the radio station must have sold those pictures themselves. We had no clue they were going to do that. We discussed it on-air, but things were made much bigger than they are. The truth is I've said for five years that I'll have a sperm donor baby, because I can't find a decent man. I've never found a decent man in my whole adult life! Me and my best friend, who's gay, discussed for years him being the donor. I think I'd do it better on my own - I don't need a man for financial support, and I'm strongly independent. For example, I'd want to bring my kids up vegetarian and what bloke is gonna like that? It's not a new thing at all though, don't be fooled by the photos!

Let's talk about Nina. All I've read is negatives about men, I want to know what's great about Nina. And how on earth did it happen?

Nina and I are just really, really close, we spend a lot of time together and see each other every day. We've been mates for 12, or 15 years or something. My whole family gets their hair cut at the shop she works in, and then we've just hooked up recently because... ummmm... I dunno... She did my hair and....(trails off, tongue-tied)

Who made the first move?

Nina: Me!

Jodie: She said 'I'll take her out to dinner' to a mutual friend of hers, and then I went in to get my hair cut and chat to her.

Talk to me about your tattoos Jodie.

Oh my god, I'm covered! I'm totally addicted. I've got Buddy Holly, Chuck Berry, Michael Jackson, and this is a pin-up. She's a mix of Pamela Anderson, Dolly Parton and Princess Diana and anyone else you want to put in there! (grins, pointing at the boobs on her pin-up tattoo) That's Pam though, not Princess Diana! I've got one that says 'Life's Too Short' too, which has a double meaning. I got it 2 days after my ex-boyfriend was sentenced to life for murder and it means life's too short for a murderer, as well as the obvious meaning. My best friend was killed on her 22nd birthday so we need to make the most of life.

Which are your favourites?

Jodie: The new ones are always my favourites, so Buddy, Chuck and Jacko at the moment. I'm going to turn this arm into a sleeve and cover every gap next!

Nina: Look at mine, I've got scissors and a comb because I'm a hairdresser, and a new one across my chest that's really painful.

Jodie: I'm getting rid of the one on my finger I got when I got married. That'll be gone soon. I don't regret any of them though. I'm getting a Harley Davidson tattoo next, I have 6 in my garage and I'm about to pick up a new one from Harley, so I'm going to get a big Harley tattoo. I can't get enough!

I'm curious about some of your outfit choices. Why do you wear the things you do?

It's not for attention or anything, it's rebellion. I just like to look different. Nina has her own style, and no one thinks she's attention-seeking. I refuse to dress normally or be told what's in fashion. Most of the people who write headlines are w*nkers. The ones who write sh*t don't know me, and are just jealous because I have such a fun life. My life's so wicked, partying with good-looking people. I get up on the dance floor by myself and dance sometimes, even when I went to Oxford University to debate I took all the students out and got them the most drunk they'd ever been! All the bullying by the media causes bullying of kids too, when they say "Jodie has saggy tits, she's ugly, she's a tramp" it creates a chain reaction where kids have license to do the same. I get shouted at in the street by teenage boys, even a little girl the other day shouted at me "You're a lezza!" and I just shrug it off now. Whatever! But if the media were nicer, the general public would be too. We can be such a vile nation, we need to be nicer to each other! Stop being horrible people!

Which female stars' style would you like to steal?

Pink! She's just the coolest person, I love what she wore to the music awards. The black rubber number with blue crosses on her nipples, I loved that outfit! She's very, very cool. And she was married to a biker.

Do you wear specific labels Jodie?

Not really, but I do like this T-shirt I'm wearing by Local Celebrity. I wear a lot of their stuff because they give it me for free, and the material, fit and length are all perfect. I think I've got every single T-shirt they've ever made. I'm stuck in a Local Celebrity rut now!

Nina: She's got one for every mood!

What make-up brands do you wear?

My favourite brand is MAC, which everyone says! They're the best. I love doing big, smoky eyes, a real rock chick look. I wear much less makeup than people think. I've been slated so much over the years, they say "oh she looks like a drag queen" but who cares? I like it! And when I'm out, every girl says to me "How do you do your eyes? Will you teach me?" That means more than newspaper print! I want to do my own make-up range, to teach girls what products to use for smoky eyes so I'm going to create really nice, black, dark, glittery eyeliners. It'll be wicked!

You've got the most-discussed nose job and second-most famous boobs in the country. What's next?

I'm not having anything else except my eyebrows tattooed on. Maybe when I'm older. My view is don't abuse surgery like Pete Burns, it's not to be taken lightly, it's a huge f*cking life-changing operation! But it is a godsend for people who are deeply unhappy. But 18 year olds don't need to get their boobs done. I was 29!

How do you stay in shape?

Well I don't diet, though I am trying to eat healthily right now. I do work out though, probably go to the gym 5 times a week to do a bit of weights, sit-ups and stuff. It's social, I enjoy it, I go in and watch GMTV while I'm on the treadmill. (Nina giggles at this point and they can't compose themselves for a couple of minutes as they realise they're sat facing me with their legs and arms folded the same way. This delights them for some reason!)

What's next for Jodie Marsh, work-wise? Tell me your plans.

Loads and loads of TV is coming up, I haven't had an agent for 8 months and I've never been busier! My ultimate aim is just to be happy, I don't care if it's in the limelight or not, but right now I'm thinking about setting up my own company to build my empire! I see myself looking after other people. I have big plans! I did Celeb Scissorhands recently and donated to Children in Need, the John Prescott documentary, and I'm doing a make-under show called 'Snog, Marry, Avoid'. I'm also looking into working with the E! Channel, because they love showbiz and they'll let me make flamboyant, big shows. They work with Pamela Anderson, and they're just perfect for me and the glamorous ideas I have. I haven't been put off reality TV by my experience with MTV at all, the programme 'Totally Jodie Marsh' was my treatment, my idea, and it was a good idea - I was just stitched up by the broadcaster and the production company. I didn't suffer though, that show had the highest ratings the network had ever had so everyone wanted me afterwards although it was a complete head-f*ck, I was seeing the doctor afterwards with stress and exhaustion. Next time, I'm using my own production company. That's what I'm looking forward to next year, as well as working closely with Harley Davidson, who are wicked. They're making me a bit of a face of Harley, which is such an honour because I just love them. They're such a huge brand and I have to pinch myself because they're proud of me! That's so exciting! Maybe I'll move abroad in the future, I really like Barbados, but that might be when I'm old and wrinkly.

Are you watching X Factor?

Nina: Yes we are! I like Diana! She can get on my nerves sometimes, but I think she's got the voice.

Jodie: I like Alexandra, did you see her singing Candyman? Oh my god! That was just brilliant, she's the total performance. Some of them are just glamorised karaoke, like Daniel, but she's up there with Christina. She's just got everything!

Nina: Yeah, what was Daniel even doing there? I liked Laura White though, it's a shame she's gone!

And on that note, the interview's over. The first exclusive interview and posed-for pictures between Jodie Marsh and Nina, and Johnny Ikon got it! So, I have a few conclusions - firstly, she's a total media professional, she knows how to handle reporters and she only gives away what she wants to. Beyond that though, she's just a simple girl living according to her own morals, and she's right about one thing: the people who slag her off are jealous. She's having more fun than most of us could dream of, she's making a fortune and she's happy. She's fiercely independent and passionate, and sometimes it's got her into trouble, but she's so much more interesting than all the bland soap stars and WAGs we're often confronted with. Overall, I loved her! If you disagree, I suggest you spend an evening with her and see if you can still find it in yourself to judge. As for her relationship with Nina? I'm not sure I know an awful lot more than i did to start with, but they're certainly having fun so fair play to them!

Johnny Ikon

Picture Credit: Gotcha Images at Gilgamesh Camden